Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Testing HTML (Not My Real Post For The Day)

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Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Video Games (Best And Coolest Way To Not Get Laid)

              I personally do not give a damn, I will die playing my games because people come and go. Your family members are going to die, your girlfriend (boyfriend in rare cases) will leave you because of your addiction; You will fail out of school and possibly lose your job but you know who will always be there? 
 Video God Damn Games.

                In my own world I have grown up with these little bits of electronic joy because think about it, what do you always fall back to when the going gets tough. Stuck in a boring lecture about when Einstein buttfucked some relativity into our life? Or how about 1 if by land and 2 if by sea or some shit like that? What about that ever so ball-rattling lesson of photosynthesis when we were in 5th grade? Whip this bitch out and call it good.

PS; I OWN GB printer still, don't make me prove it.


So yea you got through your adolescence this way, but guess what else came out along the way which kicked major ass? FUCKIN A RIGHT! MULTIPLAYER! KICK EVERYONES' ASS! Now you didn't have to be alone on your quests for glory because of that 2nd controller or that system link option. I don't know about you but anyone else in here X-Link KAI back in the day to spoof an IP connection to XBL so I could play Halo with my homies and hump the shit out of them upon their demise. In the case you are not quite sure what a "corpsehump" is I have included this example both visually and .... (what's a clever word for reading.... readily?? wtf why not?) available for you. BTW this is also very much so referred to as Tea Bagging. Typically it's supposed to be when you are getting some dome from a pretty girl but let's be honest, you aren't getting any of that here.                                

                                 Then as the years passed by I became even more savvy with how to get my game on ranging from servers through emulator programs with hundreds of roms that we can effortlessly play now on our phones, computers, and gaming consoles with the proper persuasion. The trick is though, some of even the oldest games still have secrets that we have not found. Like a 26 year old Easter Egg that was unearthed recently in a Donkey Kong game for the Atari. Maybe also how the new Batman Arkham City game was earlier revealed in Arkham Asylum as an "Easter Egg". If I got started on Easter Eggs though we will be here for far, far too long, but just know that some vary from a simple "you found a secret" message to "here have this weapon to blow the balls off your enemy from 3,000 miles away" I personally enjoy the latter of the two, but in this day and age, I am not selfish nor picky.

                       I have a lot more I'd like to say about this subject, so I will, but not today. I am going to come back to this subject constantly over time because there is SO MUCH to discuss about gaming. Yea you probably won't be the most popular with the opposite sex (unless of course you are a girl and then every techno-nerd will be splooging themselves and tripping over their own feet to get to know you or run that pesky quest for you so you don't have to. Perfect examples come from a series known as "THE GUILD" which you should look up sometime as well. I personally KNOW what a female vagina looks and feels like but don't fret, I did not always, and that nerd part of me shall never die most likely. Keep on gaming folks, and remember to keep that save file updating because nothing worse than advancing towards the end of Metroid and forgetting to write down your pass word or advancing in Punch out or FINALLY making it to FRIDAY in paperboy. Good Luck fuckers, you are going to need it, also so you know an upcoming blog will be comparing older games to newer games. Now here is some Metroid codes because I feel like it:

Get EVERYTHING code: NARPAS SWORD0 0000_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ as a password. Note: "_" indicates a space
Status Password
Slightly powered in Brinstar007ltp W20000 025kHa 8A00?Y
Ridley00U--- -u0000 0AFw9Y 1800sb
Ready for Kraid0Gz--- -m3e0G 00VvjS 3m00n?
TourianM7---- --zOA0 2T-tfm a000d5 atop
In suit, end gameuVt-Fg boo-W7 9t?lM0 O00Gsi
No suit, end game, best endingX----- --N?WO dV-Gm9 W01GMI
Play as the girl with all the arsenal weapons mMuiS1 II6-GE Jls?h0 m00WRM
Weird Code; Freeze, Varia, No bombs, odd ending Daniel Daniel Daniel Daniel
Brinstar with 10 missiles, 1 Energy Tank,and Long Wave Beam 018000 020000 04GA00 0000Xg
215 missiles, 5 Energy Tanks, all power-ups, both mini-Bosses defeated X-z-uJ lls0W0
Ready for Mother Brain2m-m?S 7p?20G 00lxYi 3W00nu
At Mother Brain's Lair, most power-ups M7?7pW ?VmGA0 2T-JNm U000cD
Second quest022400 A00000 05?00m 0000aS
Second quest at Ridleya0-AAA AAA820 9HTEYD B990hu
Second quest at Norfair81?KKK KKKG40 IAwTNA KIIGc9
Second quest as Samus without suit0WX002 W00004 1VW0C0 0000MO
All Energy Tanks empty, Wave Beam, no Varia, no bombs, start in Tourian THISPW-ACTUAL-LYDOES-SMTH1n
Unlimited rockets and energy, all power-ups except the Wave beam narpassword0000000000000

Monday, December 26, 2011

This Week Does Not Exist. (Trust Me)

     I was thinking about this yesterday discussing Holiday times and such with a friend Stephanie and it hit me. Aside from the excited feeling of returning that crappy sweater, or the video game EXPANSION your girlfriend got you when you need the original copy of the game first to play, or maybe you just aren't that interested in that gift certificate for 2 weeks free at the B&N book club, there is not a whole lot we like to do so we erase our plans and our minds for the week because EVERYONE wants to celebrate New Years but NO ONE likes this week. Allow me to explain & it will unfold eventually.

Don't know if animation will work, giving it a shot.

                So you think ok well it's the 26th, some of us have work, some of us do not. We shall start with the first option. If you have work, not ANY part of you even wants to be there. Not even a little. So you throw your brain into auto-pilot and just get through the day. So you get home, eat some of the left overs, play with your new toys you actually like and call it good for the day.


I'll note here, I DO NOT Own Skyrim unlike every other 20something year old
   Now if you are NOT employed here are your options, continue to get drunk off holiday cheer OR keep playing with your new holiday toys waiting for whomever it is that actually has a job to come back around or for your friends to get off work and you can all share tales of Santa and wonderment.

              Ok so we've made it now into the 27th, but aww shit, bet you forgot about those crappy gifts you didn't like at all huh? Well it's time to TURN THOSE MOTHA FUCKAS INTO PROFIT, or KICKASS TOYS that you DID want. FUCK YEA!! MAYBE EVEN SOME MOTHA FUCKIN BEER! This link involves singing about beer. Enjoy.

              At this point I think you can see where I'm going. So we either decide to run the gauntlet and return the gifts or send out the appropriate return forms and await the magic of turnaround time. But at this point what have we really accomplished here? NOTHING, THAT'S WHAT. Ok so were at the 28th, but by now, you are cranky, because you DO NOT feel like waiting for another Holiday at this point. Trudge through that shit until the 30th and guess what you've done the past 3 days.
              You have either:
A)Planned for a New Years Party the past few days
B)Been drunk and playing with your toys on Holiday Vacation
C)Working and pissed because it's not New Years Yet and you want that extra day off.
This year is a special year though because it NYEve will be on a Saturday and NYDay will be on Sunday, and you know what happens on Sunday don't you? FUCK YEA YOU DO..
Yes, I really do like the 49'ers. Have for years.

So it is with great pleasure and hopefully a very high BAC that I wish you a remainder of this year you won't even remember, to a Football filled New Years. I'll leave you with one last bit of food for thought. When was the last time you even remembered ANYTHING about the week between Christmas & New Years?...
 I'll wait...
That's What I Thought.


Sunday, December 25, 2011

Santa's Sack (A Big Load Of Holiday Cheer In Your Face)

               So I've seen alot of episodes, movies, stories, pictures of a certain holiday you may recognize, that being Christmas. There has been one particular ad/bump that has made me sad about Christmas and I never saw it coming. The Adult Swim team has successfully broken my spirit in a small way. It involved a talking hand puppet  Christmas  Tree, casually discussing his demise over the next few weeks.
               Not only did I find out about 40% of the trees making it into homes, this ended up sparking a memory of a tale of when the trees were finally pushed too far. So it is with that I present you with a soon to be Holiday Classic, guaranteed, for our generation and more to come soon after which we bring into the world.
               But one other bump they did also broke through in which an older gent. took a moment staring into his soul as the thinker does, donned his glasses, grabbed his phone, and began to dial. True meaning of the holiday? Always stay in touch with the ones you care about, even at this time, my best friend is calling me sending wishes, oddly timed enough as it is. We are not all friends, we are not all family, but we are still all people, still humans, we still mean someone or something to somewhere. 
                I know what I would wish for on Christmas, but this is not something I personally wish to blog about, the holidays are made for each other, so we keep it that way. Have a day to smile about. Now enjoy the film I had earlier mentioned, it is NSFW, blood, violence, I BELIEVE a touch of bad language, but seriously, It's a good'n. That and check out SANTA'S SLAY today, you will be laughing so hard you will throw up your dinner. My apologies for the lack of embedding, 
                I just started this blog yesterday, need to brush up my HTML, but I promise I'll work on it, after Christmas, maybe it will even be my New Year's Resolution.


You don't know what the fuck you are getting into.

Please enjoy this lovely short film on your friend on Christmas, and to all a good night.


Saturday, December 24, 2011

One Blog To Rule Them All (Come at me Bro Jackson)

Now I give this my attempt on the other side of the virtual spectrum instead of the random videos I also will begin documenting my antics this way as well, hopefully getting things seen/read/heard/etc through even more networking than before. It's Christmas Eve, yet somehow I do not really care or feel excited about it. I did no shopping and expect nothing from anyone either. The only thing I would want is a job that I actually love rather than just rue and lament. Out of a few jobs I think some of my favorites are still in Guitar making from scratch, official critic/review staff of youtube or google, computer technician (not the $10/hr techs, but the $64/hr techs), video game testing/debugging (yes I still like the idea of this job just as I always said I would, so there), Bartender, musician. Ideally this would happen at the start of the new year so this piece of crap year can just go away and be buried and forgotten, but that will just have to wait & see. I think this is going to do it for now, I'm going to go look around for little kids with hopes of BB guns and go rob their houses... Wait, I already have several airsoft guns, screw those dumb kids, stay off my lawn or I'll pop you with one, punks. (shakes fist until it slows to non movement & slowly doze off). More to come probably every day, I've gotta do SOMETHING productive for once, right? 
~My web based visual shenanigans.

Chitika Loves Me So They Asked Me To Sell You Some Stuff.